The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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