I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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