Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
