You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
