2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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