Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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