She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
