Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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