Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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