at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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