my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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