I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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