dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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