Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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