Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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