Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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