dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
