my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
