Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
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I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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