We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
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Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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