week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
