I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This baby is an asshole
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The Olympian is in my bed
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