I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
