At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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