Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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