One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
