I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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