i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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