Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
