Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
