I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
