Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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