friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize