Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
