So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
