fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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