I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
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The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
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i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life