sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.