man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
