whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize