Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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