She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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