swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
