theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
