Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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