i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
