five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
