Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
