We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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