I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
