The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
