is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
