is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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