Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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