haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
