i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
