Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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