So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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