Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
