And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
