like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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