if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
