dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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