I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
this will be a night to untag.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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