I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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